Misguided Ghosts
by TheGrandGiftOfSilence
Summary: Clary's world is crumbling; her best friends and brother are trying desperately to bring her out of the dark shadows of her past. But Clary's walls are up, and they refuse to come down again. Maybe Jace is the only one who can scare away her demons. After all, she's just a Misguided Ghost. All human story. Rated T for language, violence & fluff.
1. Turn It Off

**Well hello, my Minions!**

**How would you like a brand new story from yours truly?**

**Yes, I've been away and I know I promised I would write for my other fanfiction, but I had a major writer's block and I didn't want to disappoint you guys, so I wrote this one down instead. :P**

**Of course, I shall still be writing for my other fanfiction I'll Fight For You, and if you haven't checked that one out please do! :P**

**So welcome to my brand new fanfiction, 'Misguided Ghosts', named after the song by Paramore. Maybe you'd like to have a bit of a listen to this song before you read the story, and you'll understand why I've chosen this song as the story goes through. :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMI. All rights belong to Miss Cassandra Clare. She has not approved this story and now I'm sad because I don't own TMI.**

**Chapter Song: Turn It Off – Paramore (You may want to listen :P) LYRICS IN BOLD AND ITALIC, AND THIS IS THE ONLY CHAPTER WITH LYRICS IN IT. APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE MY MINIONS!**

* * *

"CLARY!"

Clary put her pencil down on her sketchpad and pulled her earphones out, the music still blaring from the speakers. She didn't turn to look at her brother stood in the doorway.

"What now, Jon?"

"Dinner's ready." Jonathon shut the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know why I bothered to come in and tell you that though. You would know if you decided to be social once in a while."

"I'm not hungry."

Jonathon sighed. "You're never hungry anymore. At least come and talk to me, Clare."

"I'm not social."

"You used to be! Now you hardly even look at me when you come home!"

"Because I'm stuck in that dark place, right?" Clary asked in defiance, glaring at the dark eyes of the demons she had drawn. Her demons.

"You tell me! You're stuck somewhere, Clary, and you won't let anyone in."

"I don't need anyone. I live best alone."

"That's bullshit Clare," Jonathon replied, refusing to give up on his sister like their Mom had. He would never do the same thing. "I thought we were past this. I thought that now..." he swallowed. "No one can hurt you anymore, Clary. I won't let him. And yet you've still been stuck there. You don't even try to hide the boys that leave the house anymore. That was the third this month, Clary."

Clary had tried to cover up her flinch at the mention of her past, but Jonathon had seen it. He felt relieved that he'd gotten an actual response from her, even if it was with the wrong words.

"What does my personal life have to do with anything?" Clary said softly.

Jonathon threw up his hands in exasperation. "It's only three days into the month Clary! You walk through school like a ghost. You won't talk to anyone, and I have to lie to Simon and Maia and tell them that you're sick."

"You don't have to tell them anything!"

"Do you expect me to ignore them? What would Dad say?"

Jonathon could tell that his words had hit a nerve with Clary, and he felt his anger drain out as she wiped a tear away with the back of her hand.

"I miss him, Jon," she said, finally meeting his eyes.

"I know. I do too." Jonathon sighed, not wanting to touch Clary and make her feel even more vulnerable. "I love you, Clare. But you're my sister, you're a Morgernstern. And you're stronger than this."

Clary looked away from him, but she knew he was right. She wanted to change this person she'd become, but she was stuck so tight it felt like quicksand surrounding her chest. The pain was a constant reminder that everything was real and would never just leave her. She just needed _something_, but she didn't know anything that could help her.

Right now, she just wanted Jon to leave her alone.

She heard him sigh, and then the creak of her bedroom door as it opened then closed with a soft click.

Clary switched the song on her iPod and shoved her earphones back in, letting the familiar music block all of her senses again. Then she pulled her diary out from its place under her pillow and let it fall open on her lap, and, letting Paramore's lyrics was through her, began to write.

'Jonathon won't give up on me. I don't think he's realised that I've given up on myself.'

_**I scraped my knees while I was praying,**_

_**And found a demon in my safest haven.**_

'He was the one who broke me. He was my safety, and he threw it back in my face after I trusted him with my life.'

_**Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything,**_

_**Than just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts.**_

'It's not easy to trust someone after everything that's happened. I wish I could, and I'm trying my hardest. But sometimes your hardest just isn't enough to put things right. I never think of how it's hurting my friends to see me like this, but I honestly can't see a way out.'

_**I wanna know what it'd be like,**_

_**To find perfection in my pride,**_

_**To see nothing in the light.**_

'I don't want to let Jon down. I don't want to let Simon and Maia down. I don't want to let myself down.'

_**Or turn it off in all my spite,**_

_**In all my spite I'll turn it off.**_

'I blame myself for his mistakes, for her mistakes. Maybe they saw no other way. And what am I supposed to do?'

_**And the worst part is, **_

_**Before it gets any better,**_

_**We're headed for a cliff.**_

'Mom never really cared that much anyway. And he just made everything one hundred times worse.'

_**And in the free fall I will realise,**_

'Jon was wrong. I'm not a Morgernstern, not anymore. I don't want to be a part of this. I'm just a scared little girl who wants her Dad.'

_**I'm better off when I hit the bottom.**_

'I'm Clary Fray now. Clarissa Adele Morgernstern no longer exists.'

Clary put her pen down and swiped angrily at the tears that had escaped as she wrote. She looked at the demons that she had drawn on her sketchpad again, their cold eyes staring back at her. They were a part of her, but she couldn't confront them on her own. She also didn't know how to trust someone who could help her.

"Why can't you just leave?" she asked the pictures, before snapping the cover shut on the drawings of her soul.

* * *

Jonathon sat at the table with his head in his hands. The table was set for two, but he knew only one space would be filled, just like every other night.

He was at his wit's end. Clary was becoming more and more like a ghost. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, and her sleepless nights were evident on her face whenever Jonathon saw her.

He didn't know what he could do to help her get her life back to some kind of normalcy. Not back to normal; she would never be the girl she once was. But he needed her to be strong, because he was falling apart just watching her.

His phone vibrated and he fished it out of his pocket, checking the caller ID. _Luke Garroway._

He ran his hand through his hair before answering his phone. "Hey Luke."

"Jonathon," came the smooth reply from the speakers. "How are you doing?"

Jonathon tried to laugh, but the sound came out strangled. "As good as I'll ever be."

"And Clary?"

Jonathon avoided the question, knowing Luke wouldn't want to hear the answer. Luke had always been like a Father to Clary; it would kill him to know what Clary was doing to herself, tormenting herself like this. "How's Mom?"

Luke sighed on the other end of the phone. "She's holding up, Jon. Just not very well at the moment. She's showing some signs of improvement, but it's not going to disappear overnight. Only time can heal these things."

"And only time will tell," Jon muttered, knowingly. He knew what Luke was saying. He also knew that it was very unlikely that Jocelyn Morgernstern would ever truly make a full recovery. But she was in the Institute with Luke looking after, and Jonathon could think of no better place for her to be than right there.

"I'm sorry I don't have any better news for you, Jon. I truly am."

"Stop apologising, Luke, please. None of this is your fault. You're taking care of her, and that's the best I can ask for right now."

There was a pause from Luke's end, and then, "I'll call you when I know more."

"Thanks Luke," Jonathon replied, before hanging up the phone and pushing it back into the shadows of his pocket.

He stared glumly down at his dinner, thinking about everything and nothing. He picked up his fork and poked at his food, before getting up and scraping it off the plate into the bin. Then he wrapped up Clary's food and pushed it into the fridge. He knew Clary had said she wasn't hungry, but when he'd started leaving food in the fridge for her he'd find it gone the following morning. Which was fine with him. As long as she wasn't starving himself.

He knew Clary would get better. She just needed time, like Mom did.

But he needed out, just for a night.

Jonathon dragged his phone back out of his pocket and dialled the number.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

_Come on, Dude,_ Jonathon thought, desperate to hear the voice at the other end of the line.

_Ring. Ring._

"What's up?"

Jonathon sighed in relief. "Dude. Can you come and keep an eye on Clary for the night?"

"Sure," came the reply without any hesitation. "I'll be there in five."

"I owe you one."

* * *

Clary stretched out on her bed, iPod turned off and the curtains open. It was pointless; you couldn't see anything through the dusty smog of New York. And, oh, how Clary missed looking at the stars.

She made a wish anyway, then counted down from 10 in her head, closing her eyes.

_Ten._

_Nine._

_Eight._

_Seven._

BANG!

Clary sat up, startled, and looked towards where her bedroom door had slammed open, crashing onto the wall.

"Jesus, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" she exclaimed, placing her hand to her chest.

"I would never do such a thing! And, no, I'm not Jesus. Unfortunately your salvation comes in the form of me instead."

Clary shrugged. "I could've got worse."

"There's the optimistic Clary I want back!" Simon hooted, jumping to sit next to Clary on her bed.

"What are you doing here, Si?" Clary asked, turning her face back to the black sky outside of her window.

"Jonathon asked me too. He's going out for a bit with some of his guys from school."

Clary's eyes widened in alarm and she flicked her head back to Simon. He held his hands out in front of him warily. "He'll be careful, Clare. You know Jon."

Clary nodded wearily and hugged her knees to her chest. "So what've you got planned for tonight then?"

"I was thinking ice-cream, and maybe getting creamed by you on COD again. Sound good?"

Clary rolled her eyes at Simon, feeling all the tension leave her. She could stand one night eating junk food with her best friend since forever and playing video games until their eyes fell out. She could never say no to Simon, even when he turned up at eight 'o' clock at night in scruffy jeans and an 'I'm Awesome' t-shirt.

To her, he was the best thing she'd seen in days.

"You're on Lewis," she replied. "But only the condition that we eat raspberry ripple ice cream and no other."

Simon held up a large striped tub and two spoons, a grin on his face. "The honours are all yours."

Clary smiled back. How couldn't she when Simon had gone out of his way to come to spend the night with her, bringing her favourite ice-cream with him. She took the tub from him and cracked open the seal, digging her spoon in straight away to get to the creamy goodness. She moaned when the flavour hit her tongue.

Simon laughed at her, and Clary glared back. "Come on, Si," she whined. "Let me revel in this moment."

"Okay, okay!" He held up his hands in mock surrender, still chuckling. "The moment is yours."

Clary dug her spoon in again and leaned her head on Simon's shoulder, happy for the first time in what felt like a long time.

"Thanks, Lewis."

Clary felt like Simon knew she meant it in more ways than one, and she knew he did when he put his arm around her, squeezing her close to his side.

"You're welcome, Fray."

* * *

**So that's Chapter 1 guys! And again I apologise for using lyrics. I know most people don't really like song fics, but I felt it set the mood for when Clary wrote her diary entry. **

**Jace: It worked. But I'm not in this Chapter, so it only makes it good, not amazing.**

**Clary: God Jace! You'll embarrass the Author!**

**Jace: But I should be!**

**Simon: Chill your ego! How much bigger can it get?**

**Me: I don't even want to know.**

**Jace: I'll let you take back that statement if you don't really mean it, beautiful.**

**Me: Flattery gets you nowhere, my friend.**

**Jace: It'll get me into your pants, and don't you know it.**

**Me: *Grabs crowbar* Guys!**

**Clary: Oh my god! So, yeah, please review guys! This is new, so we want to see if you want it carried on, or just dropped here and now.**

**Simon: And we're looking for a BETA too, so –**

**Jace: Shit!**

***Smack***

**Simon: Go Author!**

**Clary: This could go on a while. Bye guys! *Smack***

**Thanks for reading :P**

**TheGrandGiftOfSilence**


	2. Does It Matter?

**Well hello, my Minions! I apologise for not updating sooner, I've just been so busy with pretty much everything, plus stressing out about my GCSE results. But they were actually pretty good :D**

**So I was actually generally surprised by the initial reaction of the first chapter, because I know that the story is a lot darker than most Clace fanfics, but hopefully this story should make their relationship stronger. This was also pointed out by 'love is the key to life', my first reviewer, and I don't know how she understood what I was planning to do already :D Thankyou!**

**Also, let me welcome me beta reader, _Love's Uprising. _I am very grateful, and let's all respect my beta!  
**

**Disclaimer: TMI belongs to Miss Cassandra Clare. *Curls in a ball and cries because I don't own TMI***

**Chapter Song: Who Are You Now? - Sleeping With Sirens. I saw the opportunity to use this song and took it straight away, because I really think it shows how Clary changes throughout this chapter. Anyway, enjoy! :D**

* * *

**_Who are you now?  
Did you say what you want?  
Don't go back to the start  
I'm asking, who are you now?  
Did they break you apart?  
Won't you fight back for what you want?  
Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly  
We're gonna work it__ out._**_  
_Sleeping With Sirens - Who Are You Now?

* * *

Clary woke up to Simon's snores the next morning. It wasn't like she cared if Simon was there or not; they'd slept in the same bed so many times when they were younger. It wasn't like this was going to make a difference.

She slid off the bed silently and made her way to the door, trying not to wake Simon up. They'd had a pretty late night anyway, which only finished after Simon practically passed out on her bed.

They'd played COD and Halo until Simon was bored of being beaten by a girl, although she knew he was letting her win to make her feel better, then they ate ice-cream and talked well into the night.

Clary smiled as she tiptoed around her room, grateful that Simon was still there for her after she'd been such a sorry excuse for a friend for the past few months. It wasn't like she wanted be, but she didn't want to dump her burden on her best friends. She figured that it would make her even worse.

Clary was so caught up in her inner thoughts that she only saw the empty ice cream carton when she put her foot through it, the ice cream smeared around the sides of the tub sticking in between her toes. She yelped in surprise and hopped on her other foot, trying to pull it off, yelping again when she hear Simon's voice from the bed.

"You never could be quiet in a morning."

Clary tugged the carton off with her hands and looked up at Simon, putting her hands on her hips. "God, are you trying to kill me?"

Simon chuckled and sat up on his elbows. "Not God, Simon. And no, I've just got you back."

Clary let her arms drop and made her way over to Simon, sitting on the edge of the bed. She studied his face carefully, before smiling back at him. She really had missed him.

"I'm sorry, Si. I know I've been a crappy friend."

Simon sat up in front of Clary and pulled her into his chest, his hair messy from the way he'd slept. "You've been through a lot. You needed the time off and I didn't want to push you." He stroked her hair as Clary buried her face into him. "But I'm not letting you off anymore. It's time we went back to Simon and Clary and occasionally Maia."

Clary pulled back and grinned at her friend, mentally promising herself that she wouldn't take it out on Simon anymore. He didn't deserve it. "That sounds like a plan. But right now, I'm going to shower, so you can stay here and keep sleeping like the dead."

Simon slumped back on the pillows, his eyes closed. "That sounds good too."

Clary stood up from the bed and watched as Simon opened one eye to look at her. "So what are we doing when you get back from your shower?"

"I dunno," she answered, making her way to the door and grabbing clothes on her way. "You decide."

"I know!" Simon said. Clary stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned back to look at Simon curiously. He'd rolled over onto his stomach, chin propped up on his hands and ankles crossed in the air. "We could paint our nails, then go shopping, then watch The Notebook!"

Clary burst out laughing at Simon's lame attempt at a girl's voice and cracked open the door. "Whatever you want, Si."

Simon picked his nails, his eyes bright. "So, are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

Clary's stomach hurt from laughter, but she managed to gain her composure to answer him. "Twilight sucks. Even you said the film was totally unrealistic. But I bet you have a thing for sparkly vampire boy, right Si?"

Simon's head shot up, a scowl on his face. "I am a man, Fray. I am attracted to girls," he replied, dropping his girly accent.

"Sure you are," Clary muttered as she slipped through the open door, closing it just in time to hear the muffled smack of a pillow on wood and Simon shout "I heard that!"

Clary couldn't keep the smile off her face as she wandered down the hallway of her and Jon's apartment. She hadn't felt good about anything in a long time, and she'd forgotten just how much of Simon's company could make her forget everything, and that made her wish he was always there.

She shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts. She knew she couldn't ask Simon to stay with her for the rest of her life. He'd have to leave sometime.

Clary found herself stood outside the bathroom and reached out for the handle, balancing her clothes precariously on one hand.

"Need any help?"

Clary squealed and dropped her clothes on the floor, placing her hand on her heart as she wheeled round to face the voice.

"Jesus Christ, Alec! That's the second heart attack I've had today."

Alec chuckled and smiled at her, his blue eyes flashing slightly. "Sorry Clary. It's good to see you."

Clary bent down and scooped her clothes into her arms. "It's good to see you too, Alec. What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were at college."

"I was, until late last night. Your brother rang me and said he needed a night out with his old friends, so we went to Pandemonium."

"So that's why Jon got Si to look after me last night. He never told me where he went."

"Don't worry about it, Clary. We looked after him." Alec ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly. "Well, we got him home in one piece. He's going to have a massive hangover when he wakes up, after everything he drank last night." Clary opened her mouth to reply, but Alec cut her off with a shake of his head. "He's been watching out for you for the last couple of months now. He deserved the time off."

"Yeah, I guess he did." Clary muttered, before grinning up at Alec. "I'm just gonna take a shower. Will you still be here when I get out?"

"Of course," Alec replied, before turning and leaving Clary alone in the hallway. She pushed the handle to the bathroom down with her elbow and used her hip to nudge open the door, dumping her clothes on the toilet seat. She closed the door quietly, then turned on the shower spray and waited for the water to heat up as she thought about what Alec had said.

He was right about Jon. He'd been looking out for Clary for so long now that he'd probably forgotten about his own social life in the process. She hadn't really been very helpful, and both of them had school to worry about as well. It made sense that Jon would want to go out once in a while, after everything that had happened with their Mom and Dad. Clary had been so caught up in the past that she hadn't given a second thought to how Jon would be feeling about all of this. She was a terrible friend to Simon, and now a terrible sister too.

Clary wiped the steam of the mirror with a towel and looked at the girl reflected back at her. She looked like Clary; the same red, untamable curls, the same emerald green eyes. But there were knew things about her that hadn't been there before. Her cheekbones were more prominent through her pale skin, and there were dark shadows under her eyes that she knew were from lack of sleep. She looked like a ghost.

Clary sighed and stripped her clothes off, leaving them in a pile in the middle of the bathroom floor before slipping under the hot water. She showered quickly and changed into dark skinny jeans and a loose green shirt that almost matched the color of her eyes. Almost.

She took another look at herself in the mirror and fluffed her wet hair out with her fingers. It looked healthier than it had when she'd got up earlier. Her eyes looked brighter and her cheeks were flushed from the hot water. She looked a lot different to the Clary people had gotten used to over the past two months.

She picked up her dirty clothes and dumped them in the laundry basket, slung her towel over her shoulder and made her way to the door as it opened inwards, almost hitting her in the face.

"Whoa, sorry, I thought no one was in here."

Clary rubbed at her nose in shock at how close she'd come to being hit in the face with a wooden door, and focused on the naked chest in front of her. A tanned, gorgeous, muscular chest.

She tried to force herself to look at the chest owner's face, but instead found her gaze inching up slowly, eyes locking on a tattoo of a design that Clary had never come across before.

When her stare finally found his face, she narrowed her eyes. And there she was, thinking that this was going to be a good day. Oh, how one could only wish.

His hair was a blonde color, almost gold, with a wavy look to it. His skin was tanned and smooth, which made Clary feel very self-conscious of her own freckly pale skin, and it didn't help that he was only covered by black boxer shorts. His eyes were an unnatural gold, and his mouth was pulled up at one side in his usual smirk that he wore whilst flirting with the girls at school. It was obvious he was using it on Clary now.

"But apparently you don't seem to mind," he said after Clary's eyes had finished roaming his chest.

She blushed. She couldn't help it. "Yes, I do."

He smirked at her blush. "You don't look so sure about that, Cherry."

She tried to keep her cool, and control her heartbeat. The guy was an idiot and a player, but he still made her chest flutter a little bit. "Very original. You couldn't come up with anything better than Cherry, could you?"

"I could, but I've only known you for two minutes. I'd have to know you a little bit better before I change my mind."

Despite the heat that flowed through Clary's chest, she snorted and crossed her arms over her chest, swinging her wet hair to one side. "Have you heard of this thing called knocking, by the way?" she said, changing the subject. "I could've been in the shower or something!"

"And you would've wanted me in there with you when you caught sight of me coming in."

Clary's mouth dropped open at his without-hesitation easy reply, and she struggled to think of something to say back. He smiled at her reaction, and used her silence to swap places with her so Clary found herself stood outside in the hallway. "If you don't mind, Cherry, I would like to shower. Unless you care to join me?"

Clary couldn't form a witty comeback to his suggestion, and instead turned on her heel to find Jon and Alec, the boy's chuckle travelling down the hallway after her.

She stomped her way into the kitchen, to find Alec leant against the counter in his normal black jeans and dark sweater, talking to his amazing, yet flamboyantly gay, boyfriend Magnus. The pair was such a stunning contrast in their looks that if you saw them walking down the street together you'd have to look twice. When Magnus Bane stood next to Alec, it was like he paled in comparison.

Magnus had his very own glitter stock, so it was rare for anyone to see him without it and his magnificent blue hair. You didn't even have to look at his bright clothes to realize just how confident he was.

But because Clary had an older brother, she was used to being around boys more than girls, and so she'd gotten so used to Magnus' crazy antics that she'd learned to love him for who he was. Not to mention that he and Alec made the perfect couple.

When Clary entered the kitchen Alec smiled at her warmly, and Magnus turned to see her framed in the doorway.

"Clare!" he cried, throwing the tea towel at Alec and running to Clary, scooping her up into a bone crushing hug. "I've missed you!"

Clary laughed despite the fact that she couldn't breathe and gently released herself from Magnus' grip. "I've missed you too, Magnus. But before we get into the catch-up chat, would somebody mind telling me what the hell Jace Herondale is doing in my bathroom?"

"Come on, Clary," Jon's voice floated from behind her, and she sighed. "I know you don't like him but he is my friend."

"Well you sure know how to pick them, Jon. The guy's a massive flirt, and he's dated more people than I know."

Magnus smiled at Clary. "Honey, we all know Jace is a player. At least let him be confident in one job we know he can get when he's older. He'd make a  
wonderful escort."

Clary snorted behind her hand as Magnus looked seriously at her, before laughing out loud which just made Clary laugh harder. Even Alec had to stifle a smile.

Jon pushed his way into the kitchen, clutching his head. "Come on guys," he complained, searching through the cupboards. "Do you have to laugh so loud? I have a terrible hangover."

Clary had calmed down enough to answer her brother. "Well, you didn't have to drink so much, but you did, and now you have to live with the consequences."

Jon answered Clary's comment with, "Do we have any aspirin?"

They did. Clary knew they did. But the aspirin was hidden in her underwear in the drawer at the side of her a bed, along with two bottles of vodka. She wasn't quite ready to share that information with her brother yet though, so she just shrugged instead, keeping her eyes down.

Jon huffed and laid his head down on the table. "Looks like I'll be suffering in silence for the rest of the day then."

Clary looked up and was met with Magnus' suspicious gaze, and she smiled in a way which she hoped was convincing. Apparently it was, because Magnus went back to the cooker, picking up a frying pan on his way past and swatting it at Alec affectionately.

Clary made her way over to Alec and stood against the counter next to him, so close that she had to crane her neck to look at him. Damn her short height.

"So how've you been, Alec?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"With Magnus, or just in general?" he replied, watching Magnus flip pancakes over in the pan.

"Both."

"Things have been good, actually. In general and with Magnus. You know, I never thought we'd actually last this long."

"Really?" Clary asked, nudging Alec playfully with her shoulder. "I knew you would. You're great together."

Alec smiled wistfully, eyes still locked on Magnus. "You think so?"

Clary grinned and nudged him again. "I know so."

Alec made to jab her with his elbow and she danced back, just out of his reach, laughing. Then she turned and went to sit next to her brother at the counter, waiting for Magnus to finish making the pancakes.

Neither of them spoke for a minute. Then Jon said, "Where's Simon?"

"Sleeping," Clary replied. "We didn't go to sleep until pretty late last night."

"But you can't have been that late because you didn't her us come in," Jon said, lifting his head off his arms.

"Well, what time did you get back in?" Clary challenged.

Jon shrugged and grinned at Clary. "I don't know. I was too drunk to make out Magnus from Alec, and that can't be that hard."

"Whoa. You were on the tequila, weren't you?"

Jon pulled a lopsided face, and Clary giggled. "Totally."

Clary was about to say something else when Magnus slid a plate of pancakes in front of her, piled high and topped with syrup. "Eat up, Clare. You look like you've lost weight."

Clary smiled her thanks and looked down at her plate. Magnus was right; she had lost weight. But she just didn't feel like eating anything anymore. It felt pointless and totally unnecessary. Even the food that Jon left in the fridge for her every night since she stopped coming to dinner always found its way into the bin before Jon woke up. She didn't have any guilt left in her to feel bad for doing that as well.

Magnus was still staring at her over the table, so she picked up her fork gingerly and speared a piece of the top pancake before putting it in her mouth and forcing herself to swallow, then smiled at Magnus. It was good enough for him, and he beamed happily at Clary before moving to sit with Alec at the table.

Clary played with her fork idly, watching Jon dig into his breakfast like a rabid animal. "Jon, eat slower. You'll get sick."

He pointed towards his head, still shoveling food into his mouth. "I'm already hung over," he said, his voice thick from talking through the pancakes. "It's not like it can get any worse."

"Aww, Clary," Simon said, sliding into the seat at the counter opposite Jon. "Let the dude eat his pancakes in peace."

Clary placed her fork down on the table and put her hands on her lap. "Why should I?"

Simon pulled his own plate of pancakes closer to him and started eating just as fast as Jon. "Because we are men, and men are not supposed to eat like the care about their weight."

"Well I do," Magnus piped up from the table, and Clary turned to see him staring haughtily at Simon. "And Alec doesn't eat like an animal either."

"Uhh, yeah he does, Mags. You should see him when you're not around." Jon flicked his fork in Alec's direction and turned his attention back to his plate, missing Alec's face flush scarlet. Clary grinned and looked at Simon.

"What are you doing up? You normally sleep like a vampire during the day," she taunted, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"I smelt food," was his reply, and Clary crinkled her nose.

"Thanks for sharing, Si," she said, and Simon shut his mouth, grinning crookedly.

"What are we sharing?"

Clary groaned inwardly as Jace sat down in front of her, fully clothed now. She'd had way too much of his ego already to last the day.

"Are you still here?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"Fortunately for you, Cherry, yes," Jace replied, digging into his stack. "Although if the boys would like to share, there's certainly enough of me to go around."

"I'd rather spend the rest of my days with a skunk," Simon retorted, gaining a laugh from Magnus' side of the room.

Clary studied Jace, the way his wavy hair curled under his ears when it was wet, the way he looked so carefree about everyone and anything. Clary would give anything to not care.

Jace noticed Clary looking at him and raised an eyebrow at her. _Dammit!_ she thought. _Everyone has to be able to do the damn eyebrow thing and use it against me!_

"Although, I'm not sure why I should share," Jace said smoothly, eyes flicking from Jon to Clary. "Jon obviously didn't share with any of us last night."

Jon choked on his food, spraying crumbs all over the table and Simon, who was glaring at Jace. Magnus and Alec were laughing loudly behind them.

Clary just took her gaze away from Jace and looked down at her lap. He'd just insinuated that Clary would sleep with her brother, but it was obvious that he didn't know they were family. She didn't think that he would sink down to that level so early in a morning, even if he was an egotistical bastard.

"Dude," Jon finally managed to choke out. "Clary's my sister."

Clary could almost hear the wheels turning in Jace's head. "So that would explain why you have a girl living in your house. You never said you had a sister."

"I haven't known you that long," Jon pointed out. "We haven't exactly had much time to have 'the background talk' yet."

"True, although I am glad Cherry's your sister. This means I don't have to worry about you beating me up if I kiss her."

"Yes you do," Jon and Simon said in unison, at the same time as Clary said "You're an asshat."

Jace chuckled, his eyes flashing brightly. "Well that insult's new, Cherry. I've been called many words beginning with ass, but never asshat. I like it."

Clary opened her mouth to make a sharp retort when the phone rang, saving her from replying. She looked at Jon and sighed, getting up to grab the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jonathon? It's urgent."

Clary couldn't hear the voice over the boys' loud chatter and she wandered into the living room, still a mess from where the boys had slept last night, pressing the phone closer against her ear. "Who's this?"

"Oh, Clary. It's Luke."

Clary smiled. She hadn't spoken to Luke in so long, and it had been ages since she'd seen him. He'd stopped calling her mobile a short time after she'd stopped answering any calls. "Hi, Luke. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Can't really complain. What about you?"

Clary didn't really feel ready to answer that question yet, so she avoided it just like her brother had the night before. "What's up?"

Luke sighed, and Clary could almost see him run his hands through his hair. "It's about your Mom."

Clary almost dropped the phone onto the floor in surprise and, mainly, guilt. Since Simon had arrived last night she hadn't though once about her Mom and Dad, and that made her feel like a terrible daughter, one who shouldn't be laughing with her brother's friends and instead be sat in her room, thinking of nothing but her parents and her past.

Luke carried on talking, but Clary was almost too numb to listen to what he was saying. "She's refusing her medication until she sees you again. She says she wants to tell you that she's sorry, face to face. I know you don't want this, Clary, but we've even tried force to get Jocelyn to swallow her tablets, and she just spits them back out."

Jocelyn. The woman Clary had gotten most of her looks from. The woman who now wanted to see her after everything she'd put Clary through. Now Clary wasn't sure what she and Jocelyn had in common anymore, apart from their love of art.

"Clary? I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, and I figured it would be Jon answering the phone. I thought he could tell you. He would have said a little better than me –"

"No, I needed to hear it," Clary blurted, cutting Luke off. "Thank you. I'll talk to you soon." She hung up without letting him say anything back and made her way to the window, staring out at the New York skyline.

She wanted her Mom to get better. After everything that had happened with the two of them, she felt like she owed her that.

But she wanted to get better too, and she felt like this morning was a huge stepping stone. Now it had deflated into a giant mess that Clary couldn't clean up by herself.

She glanced down at the windowsill and picked up the photo of her Dad in two hands, scared it would break. Clary didn't even look anything like her Dad, but  
Jon had the same white-blond hair, the same dark eyes. That's why she wouldn't look at him; because he reminded her of their Dad. The picture was the last one the family had taken in a long time, with Valentine's arms around a 15 year old Clary and a 17 year old Jon, smiling happily at the camera. It was taken only a year ago.

She set the picture back down and was surprised to see a tear drop onto the glass frame. She stood by herself for a few minutes with one hand on the glass pane of the window, willing herself to calm down.

When the tears finally stopped she walked back into the kitchen, only for everyone to fall silent and look at her.

"Was it important?" Jon asked first. Clary couldn't even meet his gaze as she swerved around the kitchen furniture to get to other door which led the way to her bedroom.

"It was Luke," she whispered, and she could almost feel everyone suck in a breath. Everyone apart from Jace, who seemed to ignore the tension in the room.

"Who's Luke?"

Clary swallowed, forcing herself to keep her head level even though her heart was heavy. "Family friend," she muttered and she saw Jace shrug his shoulders in the corner of her eye, turning his attention back to his pancakes.

Simon looked at her with a worried expression. He knew what a call from Luke meant. "Are you okay?"

Clary forced herself to smile at him. "I'm fine, I think I'm just going to lay down for a bit."

Jon frowned at her. "Are you sure? I could-"

"Jon, I'm fine," she said, cutting him off. "I'll see you guys later," she added, looking at Alec, Magnus and Simon.

Her restraint was breaking, the feeling that made her want to run to her room and hide under the covers, so as soon as she gained weak smiles from the boys she turned on her heel and made her way to her bedroom. She walked slow, so she didn't have to worry them further. But as soon as she stepped into her room, her back slid down the door, her hands reaching up to her face to disguise the tears that flowed freely out of her.

* * *

Jace shoveled his pancakes down, not noticing the silence that had fallen over the room. He finished and pushed his plate away, then he leant back in his chair, arms behind his head.

"You make good food, Magnus," he said. "You could teach Izzy a lesson or two."

He waited for a reply, and when he didn't get one he looked up to see everyone staring down at their plates, tension thick and heavy in the room.

"Who died?" he asked nonchalantly, pushing back so his chair swung on two legs.

Simon looked at him harshly and opened his mouth to reply, but Jonathon got there first.

"No one. Everyone. It doesn't matter."

A second silence fell over the boys, and Magnus pierced it a few moments later. "Maybe we should go."

Jon lifted his head up and sighed. "Yeah."

Magnus stood up from the table, grasping Alec's hand and pulling him up too. "We'll see ourselves out. Jace?"

Jace cast another curious glance at Jon before slamming his chair down back on all four legs and rising out of it, following Magnus and Alec out of the kitchen to gather their stuff.

He didn't know what had caused them all to react that way. He had enough sense to know it had something to do with the fiery red head, who apparently knew who he was. She was stubborn, and different from any girl he'd ever met. She didn't fling herself at him like other girls at school did, which made her a challenge. And Jace liked a challenge.

As they left the apartment after exchanging awkward man-hugs with Jon, he found himself thinking about Clary. About the way her eyes seemed to hide something dark deep inside them. He rubbed uncomfortably at the tattoo just under his left shoulder, feeling it burn slightly under the pressure, and was surprised when the words _'she needs this more than I do'_ ran through his mind.

* * *

**And that's the end of Chapter 2! Anyone guess what Jace's tattoo might be?**

**Jace: I know!**

**Clary: Of course you would. It's your tattoo.**

**Jace: Only in the story. Would you like me to get it for real? Then you can -**

**Me: Uh, guys! Save it for the bedroom, please.**

**Jace: How did you know it was bedroom-related?**

**Clary: It usually is.**

**Simon: Exactly. You don't need to over-stroke your inflating ego, Jace.**

**Jace: Do you want to stroke it, Bloodsucker? I'd let you, but unfortunately, I am not gay like you.**

**Magnus&Alec: Hey!**

**Simon *Bares vampire teeth* Want to bet who can run faster, Angel Boy?**

**Clary: Woah, okay! Author?**

**Me: Keep it T Rated guys! So yeah, I hope you enjoyed it, and another thanks to my beta _Love's Uprising_. I love you my little Minions, please review! :D**

**- TheGrandGiftOfSilence**


	3. AN SORRY!

**I'M REALLY SORRY BUT THIS IS JUST A QUICK NOTE, OKAY?**

**Dear all readers of Misguided Ghosts,**

**I'm so, so sorry that I haven't updated this story in so long. There are a couple of reasons why and I feel like I need to explain myself to you, my Minions.**

**1) It's my last year in high school so obviously exam stress is sky high at the minute. It's a bit shit, but there's nothing I can do about that so...**

**2) I suppose this is the biggest reason. I've been stuck in a really 'bad place', so to speak, for a couple of months now, and I'm finding it really hard to find time to concentrate and update for this. It's hard to write about Clary this way because of the way her character is, and what she's going through is the exact way I feel. It's hard to explain I guess, but I've not exactly been the best person ever these past months.**

**The story will be updated pretty soon, okay? I've been getting better at handling stuff and I'm sure I'll be able to get the next chapter up within a couple of days. **

**If you're still here, thankyou so much for sticking with me. Your support is what keeps me alive :)**

**Please read my other fanfictions, I'll Fight For You and An Angel Between The Strong And The Fearless, and just know that I swear I'm not neglecting this story. I will finish it, one way or another :)**

**Thank you.**

**- TheGrandGiftOfSilence**


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